I think everyone depending on their situation would think differently about this. I know people who are trying everything possible to get pregnant and it’s taking a serious toll on their lives. So who am I to judge? I’m so fertile I spend my life trying “not” to get pregnant again, I already have my own army.

Personally I wouldn’t feel comfortable in giving my eggs to my anyone, not even my child. But I would do whatever was possible to give my child what they wanted, support them in financial costs, adoption, etc.

Good for you for taking on such a touchy and emotional topic! It’s interesting to read other people’s opinions on this subject!

I wanted to prepare a proper response to your comment before publishing both of our comments. Hence my delay in publishing yours.

I’d like to begin with saying that this was never an attack on individuals with TS nor was I claiming to be an “expert” on TS. Far from it. Rather, it was about the decision this mother, Melanie, made that I disagreed with.

I think that sometimes people make decisions that, on the surface, appear to be for the good of someone. Indeed, their intentions I’m sure are genuine. But upon closer inspection I think there are times when the motiviation of their intentions is really about (at least in part) to fulfill their own desires.

For reasons I cannot understand (and I don’t think it’s because I’m a father, not a mother) Melanie projected her own feelings (fears?) on her daughter’s future — that of not being able to give birth to a child. When did that become a fear that a parent would have to interfere with? Calming a child from that squeaky noise in their bedroom at night or while watching a scary movie — those are the fears we should be tending to, not our own fears of them not having the chance to bear a child. That’s why I mentioned that medical advancements, as good as they are, have crossed boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. Of course, that’s just my opinion, and we could find numerous differing views.

I said “nature’s opinion”, but to be more clear I should have said that it’s “God’s will”. I’m NOT saying He’s punishing anyone. Please don’t misunderstand that point. Instead, it’s that we’ve all been given gifts and challenges that He has left up to us to deal with in the best way we can. But I don’t think that means we should be playing His role. That’s what Melanie did, in a way, by deciding to freeze her eggs for her daughter’s future because she thinks her life would be less meaningful if she were not to bear a child. I have kids of my own, and indeed it is a wonderful experience. But to say that someone will not have as rich a life without children would be met with a gazillion singles or married couples without children that would say, “Nonsense!”

What of this?

So to turn it around a bit, if my son marries years from now and finds out that he can’t make his wife pregnant, should I go out tomorrow and freeze my sperm just in case? Will he be missing out on what it means to be a father or have less of a life? Absolutely not, because he can adopt or choose not to have kids at all. I’m all for making plans for the future, but planning my children’s pregnancy is not and will not be one of them. That’s God’s job, not ours. And what of the emotional turmoil such a case might bring? It wouldn’t really my son’s child; it would be mine. And even though I would have had this baby in a non-intimate sterile way, I would have still had a baby with someone who’s not my wife. No thanks. I have too many troubles of my own without me needing to create new ones.

Regarding the other medical advancements you spoke of (i.e., bypasses, inhalers, antibiotics, etc.): those solutions are meant to save lives or to improve the quality of life. Giving birth is something else entirely. When it’s used to make someone feel better, then not only is that an abuse of the gift of life, but it also cheapens the meaning of giving life.

You asked “Four hundred years later, does it matter?” Of course it does; your ancestry managed to get along just fine without the types of medical solutions available to you today. You and your daughter are proof of that.

I really do appreciate the time you’ve spent sharing here. I hope I have not offended you in any way. Please feel free to reply more.

Indeed. Reminds me of the song “I’m my own grandpa”.

Yikes, you read my mind. Nice gesture I suppose, but this is a bit creepy. Yeah, its always unfortunate when someone grows up knowing they don’t have the option of having kids, but you have to think about the kid and the life they would live.

According to that, there should be no heart bypass surgeries, no inhalers for asthmatics, no antibiotics. “Nature’s opinion” would remove everyone who could not survive without medical intervention from the gene pool.

I’ve gone pretty far in my genealogical studies of my own ancestry. There are so many cases of children being raised by grandparents, by siblings, etc. I wonder how many of them knew the truth? Four hundred years later does it even matter?

My 17yo daughter has TS. She is an incredible person, a high achiever who is an internationally ranked athlete. The world is a better place because she is in it. I wish I could post a picture here of the child that so many of you would like to deny options.

Without careful attendance by my physician during my pregnancy, she would not even be here. Most pregnancies with a TS fetus actually result in miscarriage. I went on to need a c-section. Nature’s “opinion” would have been for me to die in child birth.

When the media first picked up this story I was glad that people would learn about TS. But now, everybody is an “expert” on TS, but they in truth know nothing.

I truly don’t understand why this is even an issue for anyone who is not facing the same problem of infertility. I especially don’t understand why it’s an issue for anyone with a male chromosome who isn’t about to marry a girl with TS.

I asked my child what she thought, if I had frozen some of my eggs so that she would have the option that Flavie will have. She thought it was a great idea, and wondered why anyone would have a problem with it because it would be her decision. Unfortunately, my eggs are too old and that option is closed to her.

HOWEVER, I do not think she should accept her own mother’s eggs. That’s just a little bit disturbing, knowing you’re giving birth to your own sibling. It’s plenty fine for her to have a baby, just not with her mother’s eggs.