If you’ve subscribed to as many emails as I have from people selling you tools and services meant to make you money online, then you’ll likely recognize some things in this story.

Feel free to post it on your blog if you care to share a little Christmas humor.

The Little Internet Marketing Boy

I got an email, to sell me something.
It had a bunch of hype, yet was very boring.
It said to “click right here”, so I clicked right along.
And when I saw the page it was a mile long,
It had a theme song, the grammar was wrong.

I tried to finish it and not go brain dead.
Here’s what it said:

“Buy this product, it’s quite amazing.
You can get rich,” it said, “by doing nothing.
Just pay me money and you’ll be like me.
Driving expensive cars and live by the sea,
Living debt free, counting money.”

The promises it made were simply profound.
The jackpot I’d found!

Then I read reports from 12 of his friends.
They had great things to say. That’s 12 recommends!
Then I read 20 more. This guy had it all.
How could I pass this up? I want to be rich,
What a sales pitch. Give me my niche!

I had to order now, the countdown clock said.
But onward I read.

There was a bonus plus 17 more!
I felt just like a kid in a candy store.
The price had been reduced at least seven times.
I had to buy right now. This offer won’t last.
I had to act fast. Potential so vast!

But I clicked “No thanks” and the page that I got
Was an error I thought.

“So you don’t like my deal? How ’bout this one now?
It’s short two bonuses, and priced to sell now.”
“No thanks,” to that one, too. The response was the same.
This game went on twice more, “Please throw me a bone,”
Leave me alone. I want to go home.

By then my inbox had seven times the “ping”.
They sold the same thing…the very same thing.

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And now for the long awaited list of winners to my contest.

Grand Prize winner is: Big Blogger
First place winner is: WiehanneContest
Second place winner is: Blogging from Scratch

I’ll email the winners and prize sponsors so that they can coordinate the details on the prize deliveries.

Congratulations to you and thanks to everyone who participated!

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Fortunately, it happened in broad daylight, so I guess it could have been worse. I read that she’s doing fine thanks to some kind people on the Internet.

It only takes a few minutes to check it out.

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Who the heck is Mark Mason?

He’s the rising star of the Internet marketing world. You can check him out at MasonWorld.com.

Anyway, I knew he had been to Asia recently, but I didn’t know exactly for what. Well, my friends, you saw it here first: Mark Mason diving off of what appears to be a mile-high diving board making a perfect 10 dive. Check it out.

[Warning: his swim suit is a little snug and he needs to get more sun. So if you've just eaten, you may want to wait an hour or two.)

Bwahahahaha!

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I just saw Iron Man yesterday and have to tell you, it was great! There aren’t too many movies I say that about, but this one was definitely worth it, especially one that was based on a comic book super hero.

At first, I had misgivings about Robert Downey, Jr. playing the leader role, Tony Stark. But I must say, he really did a good job. In case you don’t know the background of Tony Stark, you may be interested to know that he and Robert shared some of the same qualities, which makes Robert rather qualified to don the iron suit (okay, it’s really some sort of titanium or whatever). Robert and Tony had their experiences of battling booze and care-free living. But I think this movie has put Robert back on the map as he’s definitely doing the role a great service.

The special effects were quite amazing. But the thing I liked most about the storyline is that the writers didn’t just throw Robert (Tony) into the suit and make him a superhero overnight. No, they took their time to build a credible path from the origin of Iron Man to what he came to be known as in the movie.

Even if you aren’t a comic book fan, you’d definitely get a kick out of seeing this movie. Good acting, intense fight scenes (nothing gruesome), humor, and as mentioned earlier, great effects.

Definitely worth the price of admission.

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Let’s pretend that’s not weird and head on over to Fire Storm, my latest pick in online game offerings.

You pilot a military helicopter steering clear of the baddies and cliff walls. Meanwhile, you blow things up using your guns and missiles. Guns are for the flying things; missiles for the targets on the ground.

The graphics rival that of Creepy Pong which is something I found on some guy’s blog who apparently knows something about the online gaming niche.

It blowed up, real good!

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Sound like a movie? Well, this Evac practically plays like one. The graphics are fantastic and the ship’s response to your maneuvers are very sensitive, so be careful — you could run right into a cliff if you apply too much pressure to your thrusters.

As you cruise along you can pick up bonus points or extra fuel. And keep an eye on the clock! You can’t dilly-dally and enjoy the sites. The clock counts down showing you how much time you have to rescue your buddies.

There are four increasingly difficult levels to defeat. But it’s your choice on which one you want to tackle.

Like I said, this game has some great graphics, something I don’t find too often. The makers really put some effort into this one. Schedule some time to play this one. You’ll be glad you did.

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With 3DLogic: Stronghold of Sage, you are presented with a floating cube, much like the Rubics cube of years gone by, but this one only has three sides and you don’t have to rotate any of the blocks. But you do have to match colors by creating links between like-colored endpoints.

You click and drag blocks to create the links. Black cells are blocked and you can’t connect colors diagonally. When you’ve completed a link of one color, you get a sound notifying you of the act. The object is to connect the end colors without breaking the links you’ve made.

The graphics and motion are very nice, and the accompanying background music is very pleasant.

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Someone must have gotten a lump of coal last year and this year they’re getting revenge on Santa by sabotaging his sleigh full of toys.

All the gifts are now falling in the nighttime sky, headed for disaster!

Look! Up in the sky! It’s Super Elf Merlin! He’ll save Christmas by going into a free fall and saving the gifts for all the boys and girls.

You can help him by dragging your mouse in the direction of the gifts for him to snatch up. Click and hold to slow him down.

Go Merlin…go Merlin…

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Deep Freeze is a game where you play a Santa-esque elf who has an ice pistol. Your job is to jump, run and shoot the baddies until they’re completely frozen. If they touch you before you freeze them, you lose a life.

When they become a big ball of ice, you knock’em around to break them and they turn into Christmas objects: stockings, bells, candy canes, each worth something like points or a life-up.

I love the time spent on the artwork. Nicely done.

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